To Hell and Back
by saydeciam
Summary: Dean sacrifices his life for Sam and ends up in Hell, on the rack. But whilst down there, he hears of a plan to release Lucifer using Sammy. The only way he can stop it and protect Sam is by getting off the rack, becoming a demon and taking down Lilith.
1. Chapter 1

How it began: Dean's p.o.v

After a while, the pain becomes dull - still painful, but more of a constant thrumming rather than unexpected stabs of equal delight and maliciousness. Dean manages to drown it out - his main thought of when he was sixteen. He had met a friend called Jacob who had showed him how to relax, how to really relax - with a bottle of Jack, a puff of weed and a good hard fuck. When Alistair messes with his head by inducing hallucinations of Jacob, it doesn't bother him. It's much better than seeing Bobby or John - or god forbid, Sammy. Despite all the teasing Alistair taunts Dean with, he's never once impersonated Sam. Perhaps because, deep down, he knows the large, metallic, spiky stakes imbedded deep in Deans hands and ankles won't truly stop him. Nothing would top him breaking free of his restraints and ripping Alistair apart. He can handle John and Bobby, but not Sam - not his Sammy.

Dean snaps out of his reverie, his consciousness becoming aware of his surroundings again. The once distant memory of pain becoming much louder, as the heat ups to an extreme level.

"Please no! No! Please!" Dean turns his head - or what's left of it, seeing as his whole face has been skinned - to look at the main writhing in agony. 'He's new' Dean thinks thoughtfully. It's evident from the way he winces at every slice of the knife, and looks pleadingly to the junior demon - Rafe? He's eager to please himself to Alistair, ensuring his hands are steady and every cut it strategically placed on the veins and most sensitive places. Dean turns his head to the other side, a woman this time. She looks young, around 20ish. She obviously made a demon deal and either died young, or sold her soul real easy. She holds her own on the rack though, Dean has to admit. The whole six hours of the new day, she hasn't moaned once - but now she's being tag teamed, causing the hidden moans and screams to flood out. Whilst one demon, Cole, works on her thigh, pulling out her veins like string, another demon - Khan- peels the skin of her throat away very carefully. She throws her head back in pain "aaargh of fu-" her screams cut off with a soaking wet, gurgle as Khan rips out her vocal cords. Unable to scream, she mouths soundlessly. Dean finds it amusing that every word she attempts to say I "dick" "fuck" "itch" or some other variation of it. Dean smiles and catches her eyes. The anger in her bright blue eyes dims and

Is replaced with what seems to be similar amusement. Dean's eyes turn back to Alistair, who has returned with a vat full of acid. Alistair smirk viciously, he takes out a syringe in one hand and a large knife in another - first he puts the acid and a large syringe...

"So Dean" his voice drawls, causing shivers to be invoked all over Dean's body. "How we doing today? Any thoughts on joining me Deano?" the nickname John used for him causes Dean to feel sick, but he's heard every day for near enough 30 years so he can handle it.

"Does it look like I have?" he deadpans, causing Alistair to laugh. "No dean, I thought not"

Using the razor knife, Alistair carefully slices open dean's insides and grabs hold. Taking the needle, he injects it into the intestines and dean moans in agony. Alistair simply laughs, but the looks in his eyes says the da is far from over, after all, dean has 18 hours left.

By the end of the unexplainable torture, dean's entire lower half is devoid of any flesh and his upper half is left in shreds. As Alistair and the following demons all go to receive Lilith's word - what fucking stupid idea is that? Demons have assemblies? - Every human on the rack releases a sigh of relief. "Hey" a female voice catches dean's attention, he turns to look at the female he noticed before.

"Hey" he murmurs, raising an eyebrow.

"How you doing?" she asks him.

"Well" he drawls, "I was tortured for 24 hours" he leads on, allowing her to laugh at her mistake.

"Emma darling" she offers to him. He smiles in response and offers "dean Winchester" her eyes widen at his name. "Wow, the demons do not like you"

"I know, that's the understatement of the year" he replies sarcastically.

"So I heard Alistair" she begins hesitantly. "He offers you the chance to get off the rack too?"

"Too?" dean asks

"Alistair see's promise in me" she says rudely, obviously angry at Alistair.

The next day begins again. After 24 hours of constant torture, once dean's throat is hoarse and he replies negatively to Alistair's question, Alistair walks to Emma. "Darling" he leers, "do you want to get off the rack?" he rasps. She weakly shakes her head. "Are you sure?" he asks, his voice suddenly nice. "But what about sweet little Amy? Your little sister?" Emma's eyes widen, just as deans does. "Look at it this way" he starts, gaining her attention "if you keep saying no, she'll eventually get old and die. And you won't see her again."

"BUT, but" he emphasises, "if you become a demon, then you can one day go up and see her. Would you like that?" Emma nods silently. Alistair smiles. "Would you like to get off the rack?"

"Yes" she says, her voice suddenly strong. As her narked body suddenly rematerializes, she takes Alistair's hand and is pulled up. As she's led away, she looks pityingly and hopefully at dean who minutely nods at her.

Another few years pass by, and dean is able to withstand the torture silently now. But it's not just Alistair who tortures him anymore, its Emma too. He's taken a unique liking to Emma, whom he takes every opportunity to coach in the art of torture. As Emma becomes intimately familiar with deans body - and not in the way he'd like - they begin to form a bond. As the years pass, both Emma and dean confess to one another. Although they are not friends by any standards, they are confidants. That's why, one day, Emma looks at him with undisguised fear in her eyes and he is understandably shocked as Emma plunges her knife into his stomach, he checks to see they're not being watched, and leans in discreetly.

"I heard" she begins low, "something about your brother and Lilith." her eyes meet deans shocked ones. "Lilith wants to release Lucifer from hell. And she wants to do it using your brother." dean mouths wordlessly "she's apparently got a demon whose been infiltrating your brothers little group. Ruby?" she asks hesitantly. Dean in instantly furious. Anger builds in his chest.

"Listen" Emma snap quietly. "She's got your brother drinking demon blood. He's addicted AND John and Bobby trust her"

Dean sighs in sadness. What's he going to do? How can he save Sam? He voiced his thoughts aloud and Emma bites her lip in response. "I have a suggestion, but you might not like it. What would you do for Sam?"

"Anything" dean replies hoarsely.

"Well then, here's what you need to do. When Alistair offers to come off the rack. Say yes! Ask him to teach you. Then convince him to help you overthrow Lilith and become king. Then its smooth sailing from there on out.

Dean looked wordlessly at her. Her suggestion as nuts. Crazy! But it could work. "Okay" he relented. "Torture me as much as you like today, because tomorrow you won't get another chance." Emma smiles viciously and gets to work, laughing with every slice.

"Hey dean, thought anymore?" comes Alistair's familiar question.

"Yes. I have, I want to get off the rack" dean looks on in glee at the astonished look on Alistair's face. But the shock was soon replaced with glee. Glee because dean was the first seal. Oh yeah, he knew about that too.

And so, with Emma and Alistair standing behind him, he plunged his knife into the fragile soul of the man on the rack. With every drop of his blood, each one of them had a look on their face. Alistair looked proud. Emma looked uncertain. Dean looked determined.


	2. Chapter 2: How it began

Previous chapter:

 _"I heard" she begins low, "something about your brother and Lilith." her eyes meet deans shocked ones. "Lilith wants to release Lucifer from hell. And she wants to do it using your brother."_

 _"Yes. I have, I want to get off the rack" dean looks on in glee at the astonished look on Alistair's face. But the shock was soon replaced with glee._

 _And so, with Emma and Alistair standing behind him, he plunged his knife into the fragile soul of the man on the rack. With every drop of his blood, each one of them had a look on their face. Alistair looked proud. Emma looked uncertain. Dean looked determined._

 **How it began: Sam's p.o.v**

Sam slumped over the coffee table in the roadhouse, eyes hazy as he unconsciously took sips of the black coffee. He hated coffee. But dean didn't, so he drank it, eager to have a part of dean inside him. It was just how he listened to stupid rock music now, and ate pies and cheeseburgers that made him feel sick. He ignored the look of pity bobby gave him.

"Morning" Ellen greeted those at the table. "What's the agenda for today?" she asked, injecting false enthusiasm into her voice.

"Hunting" Sam deadpans.

"No" john ordered. "You're hurt" he shouted at Sam who barely reacted

"Not nearly enough" he murmured regretfully.

"You can't do this to yourself" bobby pleaded as Ellen and Jo nodded alongside him. "You need to live" he said forcefully.

"For who? You?" Sam asked spitefully.

"Dean wouldn't want-"jo began but was stopped by the sheer anger in Sam's voice.

"-well deans not here, is he?" he snapped. "And how would you know?!" he continued. "How would any of you know?!" he stopped up furiously, kicking over the chair. Panting silently as the chair crashed to the floor, he looked each and every one of them in the eyes.

"Deans my son and he'd-"john began, quickly standing up in response to Sam's anger.

"Your son? Your son?" Sam laughed cruelly. "You don't know the first thing about dean! You're the reason he's dead" Sam roared, stepping forward to attack john. As he raised his fists, he was stopped by a hand clenched around his arm. He turned his head to see Rufus silently standing there, face blank.

"And how do you figure that?" shouted john. "Dean made the deal for you!" john was getting angrier by the second. "He jumped in front of those hellhounds knowing exactly where he was going!"

"You don't know anything do you?" Sam asked more quietly. At the confused looks of the hunter around the table, he elaborated. "Dean's time was up. He made a deal with a demon when he was sixteen because of you"

The whole room was now in stunned silence. "What?" john asked in shock?

"When I was twelve" Sam began, "you forced me to go on a hunt when I was ill. I nearly died and – and dean made a deal. Sold his soul for the promise that I would never die a supernatural related death. That was because of you. You blamed him for me getting hurt. So he sold his soul. So don't act all high and mighty like you're suffering so bad, you never cared about him" Sam ended, and then stormed out.

John sunk to his knees, face in his hands as he mourned for his son. For both of them. Dean who was already dead, and Sam who was lost –trying to become dean to keep his memory alive.

Sam walked slowly down the road, eyes focused on the distance as he thought of dean. He missed dean, he really did. Every second without him was unbearable. It was like he was missing his heart. He loved dean, more than anything or anyone. Four years at college was bad enough, but forever? He couldn't do it. It had been four months and had felt like years, he just didn't know if he could survive. But more frighteningly, he didn't know if he wanted to.

"Hey sport" Sam looked up to see the posing figure of ruby, dressed in all black with an eyebrow raised at him.

"You need a hit?" she asks coyly, pulling up the black sleeves of her jumped. Sam is instantly enraged, and judging from her expression, she knows it. Sam stalks towards her, grabbing hold of her arm in one hand and neck in another. Just the idea of ruining dean's memory with ruby is sickening. Too much. No matter how low he's sunk, he'd never want to ruin dean's memory. Never.

As ruby looks up at him seductively, Sam holds back a sigh of irritation. Taking her pale arm e takes out his pocket knife and slices, watching the red rivulets of blood flow. He sinks to his knees and begins to suck. The sheer bliss he feels at demon blood is overwhelming. He feels strong and heady with it, but he knows when it ends the exhilarated feeling will be replaced with regret, self-loathing and bring out – most of all – the longing for dean he feels every day.

Once Sam has had his full, he goes back inside the bar. Every occupant looks up when he enters. But no one mentions his dishevelled state. As he sits down the door to the roadhouse opens. Ruby stands there, dark hair flowing and her ruby red lips cured into a smirk.

"I have news. Big news. Call every hunter you know here" she says demanding, before standing over the bowl of onion rings bobby has and eating them.

As the sun sinks away and the moon rises in its place, every hunter they know is gathered – in cramp conditions- in Ellen's bar. Ruby stands on the bar and whistles.

""I have news, big news. As you know, Lilith is a major player down under" Sam bristles at the mention of her name. ! Lilith was the queen of hell, but has now been replaced. She isn't dead, but she still needs to be killed. More importantly, so does this new queen"

"What's her name?" bobby asks for every other hunter unable to speak from sheer shock.

"Emma" ruby says plainly, causing Jo to snort. As every turns to look at her, he raises her hands in apology.

"Sorry sorry" but isn't Emma a weird name for the queen of hell? It isn't fear inducing enough"

Ruby raise an eyebrow. "I wouldn't stay that. Under her reign, 70,000 demons have been killed" pastor Jim whistles lowly in shock. "Why would demon queen kill her grunts?" he asks.

"That's not even the most worrying idea. The reason she killed them was because they refused to follow an order" ruby says quietly. All the hunters lean forward in anticipation.

"She put out a new rule for demons to follow. They are not to harm the Winchesters, Harvelles, bobby, Caleb and pastor Jim" everyone turns to look at the people in question.

"Why?" Jo asks hesitantly. Ruby shrugs.

"I don't know. Either she wants you protected because she likes you, or because…"

"Or because she wants to kill us herself" john finishes soberly.

"Well, why so glum?" a female voice asks from the corner of the room. All hunters raise their guns at the lone female standing there, who was able to enter the room without 50 hunters noticing. Brown hair slicked up in a bun, eyes covered by sunglasses and dressed in all black. Taking off the sunglasses, every hunter tenses at her black eyes.

"It's a demon bitch!" a hunter exclaims.

She turns to him and raises an eyebrow.

"Now now. Is that anyway to talk to Queen Emma?" she asks mockingly, laughing at their expressions.


	3. Chapter 3: A little surprise

**A little surprise**

 **Previous chapter:**

 _. "Dean's time was up. He made a deal with a demon when he was sixteen because of you"_

" _You forced me to go on a hunt when I was ill. I nearly died and – and dean made a deal. Sold his soul for the promise that I would never die a supernatural related death. That was because of you. You blamed him for me getting hurt. So he sold his soul._

 _He sinks to his knees and begins to suck. The sheer bliss he feels at demon blood is overwhelming._

"" _I have news, big news. As you know, Lilith is a major player down under" Sam bristles at the mention of her name. ! Lilith was the queen of hell, but has now been replaced. She isn't dead, but she still needs to be killed. More importantly, so does this new queen"_

" _She put out a new rule for demons to follow. They are not to harm the Winchesters, Harvelles, bobby, Caleb and pastor Jim" everyone turns to look at the people in question._

 _Either she wants you protected because she likes you, or because…"_

" _Or because she wants to kill us herself" john finishes soberly._

" _Well, why so glum?" a female voice asks from the corner of the room._

" _Now now. Is that anyway to talk to Queen Emma?" she asks mockingly, laughing at their expressions._

 **A little surprise**

Her black eyes flick to ruby, she cocks her head. "Hello ruby, I don't think we've ever had the pleasure to meet. We can redo that later" she says simply. Ruby smiles arrogantly, but Emma can see the fear she hides in her eyes. It makes Emma feel good; powerful, knowing that this demon bitch is practically shivering in her boots.

As Sam steps forward, she smiles brightly, "Sam, oh sam. You're all grown up. But terribly lost right?" she asks sympathetically, voice laced with sorrow and pity. This Sam doesn't look like the one she's seen from Dean's memories. This one looks tired, drawn out – obviously trying to emulate Dean.

"Why put us on a no touch list?" john asks seriously, stepping forward beside Sam; tensing his shoulders and his left hand fingering his holster. Bobby smirks from his position near the bar – no matter how many arguments the Winchesters go through, they always stand beside another when needed.

"I like you Winchesters" she replies.

"And I hate Lilith. You know she was trying to release Lucifer" she questions, looking to ruby. "But you knew that didn't you? Oh what, you didn't share that detail did you?"

The hunters look uneasily at Ruby; she notices the frown on Bobby's face and the narrowing of Ellen's eyes _. Damn!_ She's losing their trust, which she cannot afford right now. Not when Lilith has been overthrown and the plan is close – she has Sam by the balls, literally _and_ metaphorically.

Just one more push and Lucifer will be _finally_ free. She looks around the room nonchalantly, acting as if the new Queen of Hell is a lair.

The Queen just shrugs and smiles. "Oh well. I found out that the demons want to release Lucifer. Lucifer" she repeats. "The angel who hates demons. The angels and demons have been working together. So watch who you trust, Sam Winchester" she says, her eyes flickering to ruby – something that does not go unnoticed by any hunter in the bar.

This eye contact only serves to heighten the distrust of a few hunters – especially John and Bobby.

"As of this day, I declare war on the angels of heaven" she says mightily, her voice darkening and seemingly echoing with power. As all the hunters look at her in awe and sceptically – not all believe angels exists, yet she merely laughs. "Wait, I nearly forgot. This isn't the best bit"

She laughs merrily once again and clicks her hand, causing the door to open.

She turns to leave, then stops.

"I can't believe I nearly forgot" she admits sheepishly, the aura of power fading and being replaced with the image of a shy female. "A gesture of good will" she says. Sam raises an eyebrow in confusion and interest. She cocks her head to the door and the hunters watch silently, wary of what's going to happen.

Boots crunching on gravel fills their ears. The light at the doorway is obscured. Standing there is a male figure. Sam looks up hesitantly. It dean. Its dean! Sam chokes back a moan.

After so long Dean is standing here, looking just as he did four months ago. Small smirk in place, leather jacket tattered and boots scuffed.

Sam can't believe it.

He had resigned himself to years without Dean, and here he was. Sam felt weak, overwhelmed with joy and happiness – but still sadness at remembering he was the reason Dean had even gone to hell. Sam had to shove his hands in his jeans, his fingers were twitching in Dean's direction.

All he wanted to do was talk to Dean, to _touch_ Dean.

"Hey Sammy" dean laughs and steps forward.

"A gesture of good will" Emma repeats and then looks to sam. "Remember what I said. I like you Sammy. I have no issue with you. See you later" she nods and winks at dean.

"After forty years of torture, you deserve some fun" and with another click, she disappears.

All eyes turn to the smirking dean.


	4. Chapter 4: Picasso with a razor

**Previously:**

 _Her black eyes flick to ruby, she cocks her head. "Hello ruby, I don't think we've ever had the pleasure to meet. We can redo that later" she says simply._

 _The hunters look uneasily at Ruby; she notices the frown on Bobby's face and the narrowing of Ellen's eyes. Damn! She's losing their trust, which she cannot afford right now. Not when Lilith has been overthrown and the plan is close – she has Sam by the balls, literally and metaphorically._

 _. "A gesture of good will" she says. Sam raises an eyebrow in confusion and interest. She cocks her head to the door and the hunters watch silently, wary of what's going to happen._

 _He had resigned himself to years without Dean, and here he was. Sam felt weak, overwhelmed with joy and happiness – but still sadness at remembering he was the reason Dean had even gone to hell. Sam had to shove his hands in his jeans, his fingers were twitching in Dean's direction._

 _All he wanted to do was talk to Dean, to touch Dean._

" _Hey Sammy" dean laughs and steps forward._

 _All eyes turn to the smirking dean._

"Dean?" Sam asks, taking a step forward. John grabs his arm and stops him. "That isn't dean son, just a demon" his voice is filled with sorrow and pain as he looks and dean. He most of all, feels guilt. He never knew that Dean had made a demon deal ten years ago, because of him. Was he that much of a bad father? Evidently.

He knew he wasn't the best, but he never thought his strict rules would've condemned his son to be willing to spend an eternity in hell. He had failed as a father. He had cost his son his life and wasn't helping the only son he had left. Looking at this fake, this _impostor_ he felt sick. Ill. His son was gone, and he wouldn't get him back. Life had screwed him over more than once, it wouldn't suddenly do him a favour by giving him his son back.

"Right and wrong" dean admits, drawing John out of his thoughts. "I am a demon, but I'm also dean" he swears, holding his right arm up and his left arm over his heart. John holds a snort, Dean never believed in religion –so to swear a religious oath meant nothing. Besides, this wasn't Dean.

"Demon?!" bobby explodes, stepping forward. Dean and Sam have always been like nephews to him, but he's always favoured Dean more. Perhaps it's because the first time he met them, he saw an adult in Dean. A man in a child's body, doing his best to protect same Perhaps it was because he had seen dean throw away everything he'd want, become nothing but a soldier to john – an invisible one at that – and receive no thanks from either Sam or John.

Dean nods, eyes flashing black. "Yes, partly. I'm human too. I didn't spend enough time in hell to become a full one. But I'm still something" Pastor Jim says a quick blessing, praying to the Lord to bless the Winchesters with some happiness, some love in their live.

"I say we kill him" pipes up a hunter, the same one from before.

"Shut up" both dean and Sam command, then look at each other and smile.

"C'mere Sammy" dean orders, holding out his arms. Sam hesitates. _What should he do?_ His foot moves slowly in the direction of Dean, unsure. But Sam wants to go to Dean, he really does – after all these months, he _needs_ to touch Dean. Dean was the most – is the most important person in his life. He twitches, looking from Dean to his dad. What should we do?

"Sam" he orders roughly. Sam looks deep in his eyes and steps forward, ignoring the outstretched hands of his father, bobby and Ellen. Sam embraces dean tightly and dean whispers in his ears. "Told you id be back Sammy" dean says, holding Sam even tighter.

"Dean" Sam chokes out. "Ive'" _missed you, needed you, dreamt of you, wanted you, and loved you_. I still do. Sam's unable to say any of this, but dean holds him tight anyway. Then he pulls back.

"What are you wearing?" he asks in shock, taking in Sams outfit. The leather jacket, black boots, flannel shirt. Sam grins sheepishly and fingers dean's amulet around his neck almost nervously.

Dean looks at his most prize possession – well second to Sammy, and takes it carefully off Sam's neck and places it around his own. "Sammy" he murmurs fondly, looking at how broken his baby brother truly is. He can barely bare to look at this version of Sam. The Sam that has now become him.

Then the moment is broken as dean winces from the burn of holy water as it cascades upon his face. 'Shit' he turns to face bobby. Bobby growls at him and advances, but Sam slides in the ever closing gap. He holds up his hand, looking pleadingly at Bobby to stop. Bobby hesitates, looking to John and Ellen for guidance.

"He's dean. I know he is" Sam promises, his voice full of hope. He looks to john for help. John steps forward to dean.

"What's your favourite thing and most important motto?"

"Looking after Sammy and my baby" dean replies instantly. John looks at Dean for a few moments in silence. He looks at Dean and sees his son; the demeanour is similar, the smile still in place. He can't see the change to demon which he would have expected.

John nods and says "ok" I'm seeming acceptance. But dean knows it's anything but. John may seem accepting, but he's going to watch dean like a hawk. Dean finds it ironic. Johns going to watch Dean like a hawk, but whose going to watch Ruby? This is the whole reason he came back, because he didn't trust anyone – not even his dad- to save Sam. It was ingrained inside him, he had always been told to protect Sam – so he did. The consequence of that was now he never trusted anyone when it came to Sam's protection, happiness and safety.

Later that evening, when all the hunters have vacated, it remains just the hunters who was originally there at the roadhouse. The tension in the room is thick, the hunters are unsure as how to act around Dean. John has been hesitant, he's not a very comforting father but he still wants dean to know that he's glad he's back. From where Sam has been seated, he continuously looks at Dean – unable to look away. Perhaps this is a lie? Maybe he's dreaming this, or maybe this isn't dean. It might just be a demon impersonating him.

The only person – or thing- that has no hesitation is Ruby. Sprawled in her chair, ruby smugly asks, "So how was hell deano?"

Dean looks at her blankly. "Toasty" is all he offers. He continues digging into his apple pie, moaning at every second causing most of the hunters to shuffle in disgust. However Sam, he was shifting in his chair for an entirely different reason.

"And how was Alistair?" she drawls, her question arousing looks of confusion and interest from the hunters. Dean looks up at Ruby, slowing sucking the apple pie filing off his finger.

"Who's Alistair?" Sam pipes up, eager to get Dean to speak and to _stop sucking like he was a damn pornstar!_

"He's Picasso with a razor" her statement causes everyone to look a dean in horror. Bobby's face twists in a grimace; he's heard from more than one demon how terrible hell was, that's why they were so desperate to escape it.

"So?" she asks.

Dean raises an eyebrow at her. She rolls her eyes at him.

"what methods did he use on you?"

"oh you know…" dean says nonchalantly. "he likes skinning me; or pulling out intestines and injecting them with acid; or hallucinations are pretty good" Ruby winces in pity whist nodding.

"yeahhhhhh, I hate them methods to. But you have to admit, they do work" she offers, and they both laugh at it.

"How long did you get tortured for?" Ash asks from his position at the bar, downing his fourth beer and letting out a belch.

"Let's just say it was a lot longer than ive been alive"

"What?!" Jo asks aghast. "Years? You was there for four months!"

"Nope" dean smiled bitterly. "A month is around a decade down there. So forty years, to answer your question" he says tor ruby. "And to answer the other one, it certainly wasn't a walk in the park"

"I think the most important question, is why the queen of hell spared you?" Rufus asks gruffly.

"She likes me" dean said simply. Realising his questions raised more questions than it answered, he continued.

"We were both in hell for saving our younger sibling. She respects that"

"And that means she decided to free you?" Rufus still isn't trusting of the new demon dean.

"Partly" dean hums before continuing. "One way they like to test you in hell is by making your think you've escaped" dean laughed sarcastically. "I never believed in, and in turn I goaded them into hurting me even more"

"Uh yeah" Ash's voice intercepts. "I don't want to, you know, bring up bad memories and stuff…but err, how does torture work if you're dead and your body was ripped to shreds" ash ignores the glares he's receiving, and mouths soundlessly with a shocked expression when he gets hit on the head by Ellen, who is shocked by his audacity.

"They torture your soul. You essentially have a body, but every cut, burn and tear that happens to your body basically happens to your soul"

Sams face pales. "So for all those decades, your soul was being-"he chokes off, overwhelmed with shock and guilt.

"Yes" dean simply replies.

"So what does your soul look like now?" Jo ventures hesitantly.

"I assume it's black and disfigured" dean replies honestly. After all, he spent decade being tortured, and then torturing, and then massacring in his quest to find Lilith.

"Actually" ruby says, seeming stunned. Everyone turns to look at her. "As a demon, your soul should be black. Broke. Ripped. But" her voice takes on a sound of astonishment. "But it isn't. It's pure, white, glowing it shouldn't be like that. No soul in hell should its unheard of."

She stands up and storms over to dean aggressively. "You're a demon" she accuses.

Dean barely manages to repress a snort and the question of 'what the fuck are you? A tree?'

"You're a demon" she repeat. "Why is your soul pure?"

Dean stands, causing her to take a step back.

"Do you know what makes a demon ruby?"

"Yes" she replies. "You become a demon when you are tortured"

"Yes" he says. "That's what makes a demon, but do you know what ruins a soul?" she doesn't answer. She shifts slightly, looking guilty.

"What makes a demon ruby" he begins, his voice dropping low, "is the. Pure, unadulterated hate. A demon can be a demon with a soul, but the reason they become so vicious is because they are consumed with hate. Your soul only becomes black when you feel hate. No love. No empathy. Just hate" dean finishes.

"So tell me ruby, why is your soul black? If you can love – like you claim, then it would be white. But it's black. So you must be lying about your emotions. What's real truth?" he asks viciously.

"And dont you dare try to say you feel, because I can see your soul. And it is vile and black. Pure black. There isn't one trace of white, or of any colour. So ruby, care to share with the class?" he invites, gesturing at the hunters whilst laughing loudly.

Ruby says nothing.

"Yeah, that's what I though" he murmurs and leaves.


End file.
